How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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