i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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