So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The power of my boobs compel you
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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