I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize