"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
