She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
