is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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