fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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