I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
