that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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