1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
