i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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