I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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