She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we made out on top of his cat.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
