Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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