god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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