Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
