She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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