I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
