I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
