Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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