She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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