and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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