watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
