I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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