the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I came so hard my ears popped.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
