He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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