1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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