If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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