i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
