She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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