Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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