At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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