ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
