he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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