Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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