So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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