seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
