I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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