My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
