and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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