my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He shit in the fireplace
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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