the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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