After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He told me they were just razor bumps!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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