Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
