OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
