is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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