When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
