I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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