It was confusing and full of hummus
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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