just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
