it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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