I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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