She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
