i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
