im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
