Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
