So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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