is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
