i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We got so high we made milksteak
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
