Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
