Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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