apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
