i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
