people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
