she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
