just come out here and I will go home with you...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
