I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
