Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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