My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
