but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
