But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No subtext here. People are naked.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
