Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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