And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
