When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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